In my observation, everyone you meet changes your life in some way. Sometimes, it’s the guy at the grocery store who’s stocking shelves; other times, it’s the lover you’re given on a chance encounter.
I can’t say that I expected this; in fact, I can say quite the opposite. I expected you to be like all the others; to be going from meaningless job to meaningless job, not paying your rent, owning no car, and basically just fucking up through life. What happened, instead, was a once-in-a-lifetime encounter with a man who became my best friend and the love of my life. What happened was a complete change in perspective on every breath I take and every blink my eyes make.
Five months ago, I couldn’t have imagined meeting a man like you. I’ve dated a few good men, but situations always arose that dissipated those situations into the night as quickly as the infatuation bloomed. I thought you were different, but I guess we all have our stories. The summer of 2021 was the most magical time I’ve ever had in my life, and I have you to thank for it. So it is with this, dear Very Good Friend, that I pay tribute to the half a year we’ve spent together making memories, making love, and making other people love us.
I’ll never forget our first date. I still can’t believe I let you pick me up, but I had no qualms about it. I certainly didn’t expect what happened to happen, but I trusted you from the very beginning. I still do. I don’t lie to you, and you don’t lie to me. You are my partner. You are my best friend. I hopped in the car and asked if you like seafood. Surprisingly, you said yes. We had no plans–no destination. We ended up at the oyster bar, where we spent $200 and three hours enjoying each other as though we’d known each other for 20 years. Let us not forget the air hockey tournament, bad breaking at the pool table, a day of basketball-watching, and I think there was a movie in there, too. 20 hours into our first date, I didn’t want to ever be away from you again.
Then the summer progressed. We spent our time dipping into Airbnbs across Colorado Springs, riding horses in Garden of the Gods, hitting secret speakeasies, and figuring out where the best dinners were to be had. You held my hand, you kissed my lips, and you made me feel like I was the only woman in the world. We went to Victor, Colorado by accident and spent the night in a hotel I’m still convinced is haunted. We spent the quickest five bucks ever at the casino in Cripple Creek, then we took the hour-long drive back to your temporary home city.
Along the way, we made some amazing memories, dancing in the street, pushing our bodies against each other in the pool, and enjoying the magic of the stars and the hot springs that we had all to ourselves at midnight that night. We’ve bought each other the most thoughtful presents and done acts of love that come only from the heart and nowhere else.
Remember the Burger Fest? We got $300 VIP tickets for free because why? Because we’re awesome.
I met your sisters on two different occasions. Planning Nichole’s first Colorado adventure made my heart so happy, and Maya is simply amazing.
I took you home with me. I’ve never taken a man home with me. You met my mom. You met some of my hometown friends. And you had a long conversation with my dad. I love you for that.
We love each other. Immensely.
As I prepare for you to leave me and go off to your new life that you’ve chosen, I can’t help but think back on our conversation last night. Do you remember telling me that you’ve thought about what a future with me would be like? Do you remember telling me that you’ve pictured how amazing it would be to have your home base in Denver, flying me out to whatever city you happened to be working in at the time so we could conquer each new town, one block at a time? Do you remember telling me what a hard decision this was for you to make?
Here’s what you should know:
You’ve asked me several times if I ever wanted kids. I never told you no. What I told you is that I’ve never been in the position to have kids. I was tasked with taking care of manchildren for a decade of my life; they only wanted me because I paid all the bills, worked all the jobs, and was severely loyal to a fault. I should have walked away, but life was different then. I was different then. Kids were not an option then.
When I met you, within the first five minutes, I wanted to have your babies. I still do.
Someone beat me to it.
It’s a really weird place to be in… looking 40 in the face, finally ready to settle down, finally found a man I can share my life with–myself with–and he’s made other decisions. I never expected to want kids, and I certainly never expected to want them like I do now, but when I look at you and see your face light up every time you talk about the kids in your life, I can’t help but want to give you the family you desire so much.
We would make a beautiful family.
But, alas, someone came before me. So, it is with this, dear lover, that I say thank you for the magical summer you’ve given me. You are my unicorn…my king. And with all the memories you’ve given me, you’ll be with me forever, even long after you’re gone onto your new life. I love you always and forever.