In my observation, it’s hard to be weak.
In truth, it sucks. As people, we’re bred to think we know how to conquer the world. We spend every night planning for the day ahead, and we spend every day, working to settle into the night.
We’re never not working.
I’m never not working.
I’m working to make money. I’m working to better myself. I’m working to make my family as happy and as prosperous as we can be.
I’m working to be the best person and woman I can be.
Two years ago, I met a man who changed my life. From the moment I met him, I loved him. Deeply. Like nothing I’ve ever known. This man is my family.
There are few things I don’t love about him, but among the most spectacular of characteristics is his vulnerability.
I find strength in his weakness, and he does so in mine.
I often wonder — Where would I be, had chance not given me this man who I treasure and hold so dearly?
Sometimes it’s hard to pay the bills. Sometimes it’s hard to have fun with the incessant thoughts of life rustling around in the back of our heads.
I take the odd days. He gets the evens. Wednesdays, I’m allowed to feel down; I give him Thursdays.
When I look at my life, and the last 34 years, I can honestly say that I’ve never felt so vulnerable as every moment I feel in my home right now. I can say, too, that I’ve never felt so strong. As individuals, people aren’t meant to make it through this life alone. We need to cry. We need to suck. And we need someone to tell us to suck it up and be better. With a partner, two individuals can conquer the world.
My job is to be strong when my person is vulnerable. And my job is to let him figure out how to be weak. His job is to figure out how to be vulnerable and to wrap his arms around me when I need strength.
There’s a certain comfort in tears. They are your own. They were born from your own feelings, experiences, frustrations, sadness, and loneliness. You own them. They belong to you. They’re part of your own mind, heart, body, and soul.
When you’re strong enough to be vulnerable, you let someone else in. You invite the possibilities of every weakness you’re allowed to encompass, and you welcome the people in your life to bind their strengths together to create a bridge from here to there. In the end, you’ll either find you again, or you’ll find a new you who is ready to accept the challenges and uncomfortable situations the future has to offer.
I’ve always been strong. And the person I love is even stronger. We’re strong in different ways, which affords us the ability to be weak differently. We’ll never fall. The other one is always here to grab a shovel and scoop the other one into a healthy, loving spot where we can be ourselves — whoever that person may be at the time.
Without vulnerability, no one can be strong enough to do this life. This life can’t be done without friends who love us unconditionally and without cause or clause.