In my observation, the world has gone completely fucking mad over the past three months. Between a global pandemic and national unrest, resulting from police misconduct, I find myself in a place of un-peace.
It’s no secret that 2020 has been quite a shit show. I was doing things that made me happy before March came around; I went back home for a week and saw a million old friends, applied for jobs, and generally had my shit together.
Then March came.
I went to Florida on a much-anticipated vacation. Two days in, the world closed down, I canceled my Airbnb and flew home. I spent the next few months stuck in my house by myself, dog and cat in-tow. While some people lamented over the family time they had to deal with–which I’m sure was tough–I dealt with a healthy dose of isolation that could’ve killed me.
No, I didn’t worry about exposure, because I didn’t leave my house (except to walk the dog). But, I also didn’t have anyone to talk to. I couldn’t share stories, anticipate good things, or lament over miseries. I was in this alone.
Sure, I reached out via email, text, and chat. That’s what you do when you live alone and can’t go anywhere, right? I created video calls with colleagues, said hello to neighbors beneath the guise of a homemade mask, and cried myself to sleep. I also grew a garden. After all, Tupac did tell us a rose can rise from the concrete.
What’s interesting to me is that people sometimes care more about people they’ve never met than people with whom they interact with regularly. Naturally, I don’t hold anyone to the fire for this, but I can’t help but find it curious. In the midst of a national tragedy, I’ve laid low. I don’t politic. I’m not hostile. I rarely share opinions about anything.
In truth, I’m just trying to figure out how to live.
I support the First Amendment, for I am a writer.
I support the pursuit of life, liberty, and justice, for I am an American.
I support people’s need to be connected with others, for I am a human.
I support the need for community and friends, for I need those elements in my own life.
Should you question your support, step back. Reevaluate your own thoughts against those in your circle. With time comes kindness. With kindness comes the opportunity to see something outside of your own environment. With that opportunity comes a greater chance of experiencing solidarity and peace.