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In my observation, this is a great debate for Nature versus Nurture.

After all, when do you think that children in the grocery store were taught to throw temper tantrums at the check-out line?  The overwhelming answer would be never.  You see, as soon as the check-out line becomes unattainable, whether it’s pronounced with words or caused by some form of body language that readily dictates intent to all parties involved, it becomes a sexy object of desire — a challenge.

So what is it about being told ‘no’ that makes humans, at all ages, spend infinite amounts of energy plotting ways to overcome a challenge that is intended to be anything but?

As babies, we spend unquantifiable amounts of time plotting ways to push the boundaries and figure out just how far we can push the lines.  As children, we throw tantrums when we can’t get our way.  As teenagers, being told we can’t do something immediately means plotting, sneaking around, and getting creative.  And as adults, The Unattainable is often a phrase rooted in relation to the opposite sex.

It seems that for many of us, chasing The Unattainable is much more a lifelong pursuit than that of happiness.  And only the latter was promised to by our forefathers.

When did the pursuit of happiness become convoluted in a muddled, emotional, and unattainable mess?  Was it always this way?  Think about presidents in the old days and their plantation lovers.  Socially unacceptable and forbidden bodies thrust together, some by choice, some by chance.  Think about all of the women who marry convicts that are behind bars for life.  These are often people that have never met — never spent a night together — and never will.  These are men that are proven to be bad people, and overall degenerates to society.  And yet?  Women flock to prisons to meet their mates.

There seems to be an innate drive to seek that which we cannot have.  While I’ll opt away from the animalistic hunter instinct idea, the thought certainly did cross my mind that, throughout evolution, we were hunters.  And perhaps there is a part of our makeup that still needs to find and meet the challenge of hunting a type of prey.

For clarity, The Unattainable come in many forms.  If physical attraction isn’t met by both parties — if the fire and sexual passion that makes living without each other an impossibility — someone is Unattainable.  Maybe they’re overweight; maybe that have a face that only a mother could love.    If relationships are in place, either with significant others or children or family or friends inhibit the sultry burning that should exist between two people, the Unattainable has surfaced.  Sometimes our own demons step in and refuse to allow us to be free.  They are members of The Unattainable.  If friendship trumps the opportunity for greater possibilities, The Unattainable has entered.

Recently, Self and I have had a lot of discussions.  Enough to make one of us crazy, and I’m not sure which one of us is going to come out of this alive.  The day I turned thirty two, I promised that this would be a year of honesty, both with myself as well as others around me, particularly those that I love.  While I’ve never been a liar, I’m quickly learning that experiencing unbridled honesty is much more dramatic than simply “not lying”.

It seems, as luck would have it, that The Unattainable are forcing me to learn more about me in thirty two than I have in the three plus decades prior.  My heart was tender before, and it was often worn on my sleeve.  It wasn’t until I looked in the mirror, and decided that my vulnerability is sexy, that I began to experience the raw honesty that I promised to seek out this year.  It’s not only part of me; it is me.

We all have demons.  Some of us struggle with our own.  And some of us are forced to face the demons of others.  Most of us are stretched across the spectrum.  We must deal with our own insecurities and vulnerabilities; the things we’ve done that we’re not proud of; the things that would feel better if we just got them out, but they’re meant to be left unsaid.  And in our roles in other peoples’ lives, as parents, friends, children, or siblings, we shoulder others’ demons as well.

A combination of confidence and insecurity.. a combination of ego and introspection… A combination of untouched and still inside of me… a combination of being a lover and being unlovable… Unattainable.

Isn’t it funny that one person’s Unattainable simultaneously seeks their own Unattainable?  The naked vulnerability runs on parallel tracks, sometimes even meeting at the station at the same time, and just as quickly as they arrived, The Unattainable pull out, and go about their own directions in life.  Until concessions are made, and the path on which the tracks run is diverted, via work and will, the tracks of The Unattainable may never become one.