In my observation, tomorrow always brings a new day.
And I promise, tomorrow, I will do my best to be better tomorrow. Of all of the friendships (and enemyships) that I have made, I have taken a taste of each of them, and I promise tomorrow, that I will do my very best to be better tomorrow.
Can you say the same?
Maybe you can; maybe you can’t.
Recently, I’ve found a little bit of a voice. I hear that I’ve found much more of a voice than I thought I had. Those that love me, love me for the words that I am finally able to speak. There have been so many times when I was silent — because I had to be. I was silent because I didn’t know how to make words into a coherent, adult conversation. And if you know me, you know that I still don’t. But those that love me love me for the effort that I put in while I try to learn.
Just as we learn to walk and learn to speak as young children, we learn to walk our paths and speak our minds as adults. For me, I’m not sure if I’ve been slower at the process, or just different; I haven’t yet decided. One thing of which I AM absolutely certain is that the people in my life, each and every one of them, has made me me. I love them for it, even when I’m angrier than I knew I could be.
I hate anger. I hate animosity. I hate confrontation. But in the end, I love what these things have brought to me. I have a renewed understanding of what friendship and love really are. I have an enormous respect for those that put up with me, and I promise that tomorrow, I will try harder to be a better me.
I promise to take what you’ve said to heart. I promise to put your feedback into the person that I am today, and I promise to wake up trying to be better tomorrow.
Friendship is a funny word. For some, it can mean the same as love: an indefinite appreciation of the person with whom the word or activities are shared. For others, it’s a very finite line; doing something great and being in an amazing place makes you a great friend, otherwise, you’re only worthy of being walked away from.
Friends, to me, are family. They’re there for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer. They’re intimately connected to me, and they can never do anything wrong. As humans, they do questionable things at times, as do I. It’s not only okay; it’s perfect. The imperfection of humanity is what makes each of us perfect in our own ways. The beauty of being human is being able to fuck up, and the beauty of true friendship is being able to know that your people will always be there for you when it’s over — much more definitively, knowing they’ll be there when you’re going through shit.
I’ve been in an interesting ‘today’ for a little while. When I needed someone to be there, I had a lot of Favorite People step up and make sure they had me. There have been others that bowed out, letting me know they had to wait for the storm to pass before they would be willing to come back.
I can’t imagine walking away when someone needed me. For me, it’s amazing if you’re doing amazing today, but many of us are not. So many of us are working toward being better tomorrow, myself included.
Not too long ago, when I thought about who loved me, I thought about the people that loved me yesterday. Now, when I think about people that love me, I think about the people that loved me yesterday, but they also love me today and tomorrow.
In this thing that is called “life”, I think it’s unfair to think that anyone could do it alone. I think there is something so sexy about friends that are willing to set themselves aside and be who they’re supposed to be for the people that love them. Sometimes, it should be a friend, sometimes it may be a lover, and sometimes, it may be a smile in passing at the grocery store.
Tomorrow, I promise to try to be a better person, friend, and lover than I was today and yesterday. But if you haven’t afforded me to struggle today, I am not sure what tomorrow can bring.